Your friend just got an axolotl and keeps saying “she.” You ask how they know it’s female, and they shrug. “Aren’t they all girls?”

This weird assumption shows up everywhere. People automatically call axolotls “she” without checking. Pet store workers do it. Social media posts do it. Even some care guides default to female pronouns.

So what’s the truth? Are axolotls actually all female, or is something else going on?

The Answer: No, Axolotls Come in Both Sexes

Axolotls have males and females just like most animals. Roughly half are boys, half are girls. There’s nothing special about their gender distribution.

So why does everyone assume they’re female?

The confusion comes from a few different sources that all mashed together into this strange myth.

Where This Myth Started

The “Cute = Female” Association

Axolotls look adorable. Round bodies, big smiles, soft colors (especially the pink ones). Our brains connect “cute and pink” with “female” because of cultural conditioning.

People see a pink axolotl and automatically think “girl” the same way they’d assume a pink toy or outfit is for girls. It’s a bias, not biology.

The reality: Male axolotls can be pink, golden, black, or any color. Female axolotls come in the same colors. Gender has zero connection to color.

The Neoteny Confusion

Axolotls stay in their juvenile form forever a trait called neoteny. They look like babies even when fully grown.

Some people mistakenly think “juvenile appearance equals female” or confuse neotenic traits with feminine characteristics. This makes no biological sense, but the association stuck in some circles.

The actual situation: Both male and female axolotls show neoteny. The baby-like appearance is a species trait, not a gender marker.

Pet Industry Defaults

Many pet care guides default to “she/her” pronouns when gender is unknown, similar to how boats and cars traditionally get called “she.” This writing convention created the impression that axolotls are female.

Reading care guides that constantly say “feed her” and “keep her tank clean” plants the idea that axolotls are girls.

What’s really happening: Writers chose a pronoun for convenience. It doesn’t reflect actual gender distribution.

Social Media Reinforcement

Viral axolotl videos often use female pronouns in captions. “Look at her little face!” and “She’s so happy!” dominate TikTok and Instagram.

When millions of people see this repeatedly, it becomes “common knowledge” even though it’s completely wrong.

How to Actually Tell Male from Female

You can’t look at an axolotl’s face, color, or size and know its gender. The differences are subtle and only visible once they mature.

Age Matters First

Baby axolotls (under 6 months) look identical regardless of sex. You cannot determine gender in young axolotls by looking at them.

Around 6-12 months, as they reach sexual maturity, physical differences start appearing. Even then, you need to look at specific body parts.

The Cloaca Test (Most Reliable Method)

Look at the area behind the back legs the cloaca (reproductive opening).

Male axolotls:

• Swollen, bulging cloaca
• Looks like a bump or protrusion
• More pronounced and obvious
• Can see it from multiple angles

Female axolotls:

• Flat or barely raised cloaca
• Smooth appearance
• Minimal protrusion
• Less noticeable overall

The catch: You need to look at the underside of the axolotl to see this. Many owners never check, leaving gender a mystery.

Body Shape (Secondary Indicator)

Males tend to be:

• Slightly longer and thinner
• More streamlined body
• Smaller head relative to body

Females tend to be:

• Rounder and plumper, especially when carrying eggs
• Wider body
• Slightly larger overall when mature

Important note: Body shape varies based on age, health, and individual genetics. A well-fed male might look rounder than an underfed female. Use this as a supporting clue, not the main identifier.

Behavioral Clues (Unreliable Alone)

Males sometimes:

• Display more territorial behavior during breeding season
• Court females with specific movements
• Release spermatophores (sperm packets) in the tank

Females sometimes:

• Lay eggs (obviously female at that point)
• Show belly swelling when gravid (carrying eggs)

The problem: Without another axolotl present, you won’t see breeding behaviors. And quiet males might never show territorial displays.

Why Gender Doesn’t Matter Much

Unless you plan to breed axolotls, knowing whether yours is male or female changes nothing.

Care requirements are identical:

• Same water temperature (60-64°F)
• Same tank size needs
• Same diet
• Same water quality standards
• Same filter requirements

Personality isn’t determined by sex: Some people claim males are more active or females are calmer. This isn’t supported by evidence. Individual personality varies more than any gender-based difference.

Lifespan is the same: Both males and females live 10-15 years with proper care. Gender doesn’t affect longevity.

The only time it matters: When you have multiple axolotls and want to prevent breeding or intentionally breed them.

The Breeding Consideration

If you keep multiple axolotls together, gender becomes important.

Same-Sex Tanks

Keeping two males or two females together avoids unwanted breeding.

Pros:

• No surprise eggs
• No need to separate or care for babies
• Similar size animals typically coexist better

Cons:

• Two males might show territorial aggression (though this is uncommon)
• Two females can still be aggressive during breeding season

Mixed-Sex Tanks

One male and one female (or any mixed combination) will likely breed if conditions allow.

What happens: Females lay hundreds of eggs. Unless you remove them, you’ll have hundreds of baby axolotls. Each needs its own space as it grows.

Most people aren’t prepared for this.

Group Dynamics

In groups of three or more, having a mix of genders usually works fine as long as the tank is large enough and has multiple hiding spots.

Aggression comes more from overcrowding and resource competition than from gender mixing.

Common Gender Myths Debunked

“Pink axolotls are always female”

False. Color has nothing to do with sex. Males come in pink (leucistic), golden (albino), black (melanoid), and every other color variation.

“Females are bigger”

Not necessarily. While gravid (egg-carrying) females appear larger due to eggs, baseline size varies more by genetics, age, and diet than by gender.

“Males are more aggressive”

No consistent evidence supports this. Individual personality matters more than sex. Some females are feisty, some males are docile.

“You can tell by gill size”

Gill size relates to water quality, oxygen levels, and individual genetics not gender. Both sexes can have large, fluffy gills or smaller, less prominent ones.

“Females live longer”

Lifespan is the same for both sexes when given proper care. Gender doesn’t affect how long your axolotl lives.

What Pronouns Should You Use?

Since most people don’t know their axolotl’s gender, what should you call them?

Option 1: “They/them” Gender-neutral pronouns work perfectly. “I fed them today” or “They’re looking healthy” covers all bases without assuming.

Option 2: Check the gender and use accurate pronouns If you’ve looked at the cloaca and determined sex, use he/him for males and she/her for females.

Option 3: Give them a name and use that “I fed Bubbles today” or “Gizmo is looking healthy” avoids pronouns entirely.

What to avoid: Defaulting to “she/her” because you assume all axolotls are female. This spreads the myth further.

When Gender Identification Goes Wrong

Some owners struggle to determine gender even using the cloaca method.

Common issues:

Young axolotls: If yours is under 6 months old, you probably can’t tell yet. Wait until they mature.

Unclear cloaca: Some axolotls fall in the middle not obviously swollen but not completely flat either. This happens occasionally and may require waiting a few more months for clearer development.

Never bred: If your axolotl has never been in a breeding situation, sex characteristics might be less pronounced. Well-defined traits often become more obvious during breeding season.

Health issues: Sick or stressed axolotls might not show typical gender traits as clearly. Get them healthy first, then check again.

When in doubt: Wait a few months and check again. Take photos from below to compare over time. Or ask an experienced axolotl keeper or vet to check.

The Rare Exception: Intersex Axolotls

Like many animals, axolotls can occasionally be intersex showing characteristics of both sexes or ambiguous sexual development.

This is extremely rare but does happen. An intersex axolotl might have:

• Intermediate cloaca appearance
• Ability to produce both eggs and spermatophores
• Unusual hormonal development

What this means for owners: Basically nothing changes about care. Intersex axolotls live normal lifespans and need standard care. They’re just biologically unique.

Teaching Others the Truth

When you hear someone say “all axolotls are girls,” here’s how to respond:

Short version: “Actually, axolotls have males and females like most animals. People just assume they’re all female because of their cute appearance and the way pet care guides use pronouns.”

With more detail: “Axolotls come in both sexes. You tell them apart by looking at the cloaca males have a swollen bump, females are flat. The myth that they’re all girls comes from the pink color making people think ‘female’ and care guides defaulting to ‘she’ pronouns.”

For kids: “Axolotls can be boys or girls, just like puppies or kittens. We can tell which one when they grow up by looking at their body.”

Quick Gender Facts Summary

Gender split: Approximately 50/50 male to female in the species

Color connection: None all colors include both males and females

Size difference: Minimal and unreliable for identification

Best identification method: Checking the cloaca shape once mature (6+ months old)

Care differences: None both sexes need identical tank conditions, food, and maintenance

Personality differences: Individual variation exceeds any gender-based patterns

Why the myth exists: Cultural biases about cuteness, pink colors, and pronoun defaults in writing

When it matters: Only for breeding management

The Bottom Line

No, axolotls are not all girls. They have a normal male-to-female distribution just like dogs, cats, fish, or any other common pet.

The assumption that they’re all female comes from appearance biases (pink = girl in our culture), writing conventions (defaulting to “she” pronouns), and social media reinforcement, not from biology.

Check the cloaca on a mature axolotl if you want to know the sex. Otherwise, gender is irrelevant to keeping a happy, healthy pet.

Next time someone asks about your axolotl and automatically says “she,” you can politely mention “Actually, I’m not sure if mine is male or female have you checked yours?” Watch the confused look when they realize they’ve been assuming all along.

Your axolotl doesn’t care what pronouns you use. But spreading accurate information helps other owners understand these amazing creatures better.